I create.
I don’t feel complete when I’m not, somehow, creating something.
When I was a kid, I was drawing a lot. Drawing, painting, trying all the pens and pencils and colors.
My favorite activity was to put crayons in a transparent pill container and to watch them melt in the oven. The result was a small weird object that would follow me everywhere for weeks.
I made clay figurines and jewelry. They were everywhere around the house. Everyone I knew wore them proudly. I wonder if they kept wearing them when they were at work. I know my mom did.
I sew things. Cushions, weirdly shaped stuffies and bags with holes.
I made friendship bracelets and was envious of the kids who could make the big complex ones. Someday, I became that kid.
My mom taught me how to crochet. I made very, very long chains. Eventually, I made flowers.
I played lots of music: piano, violin, flute, all the percussions, but mostly cello. I was creating music. It was coming from deep inside me.
When I was a teen, I was still drawing a lot. All day long during the school days. The more colors, the happier I was.
I loved making jewelry, especially those macrame hemp necklaces. I wore at least three of them everyday.
I was also wearing the clothes I made. I could make a decent tank top from scratch in 5 minutes. Then I would draw on it.
I wrote a lot. Poetry, short stories, essays, songs. I still love writing. It makes me very, very happy.
I started creating websites. It was 1996; the Web was an empty place. I discovered that there is a lot of poetry in coding.
I kept playing the cello; I took pottery lessons, dance lessons. I took photography lessons and I fell in love.
I wondered what my career would be. I wanted to create. I wanted to make a living out of my passion.
Creating was my passion, but I had yet to find the one way that would make me happy day after day after day.
I was 17 and I had to pick something. I decided that coding was my best bet. It was a very good choice.
I studied for 3 years and worked in this field for over 15 years, freelancing for most of that time.
Being my own boss gave me a lot of time to keep searching for my passion while giving me more than enough money for my small needs.
When I was a young adult, I painted a lot. I read several books about drawing and painting. I love it but I have very limited talent!
I learned bass guitar and sang with my musician friends. I’m better near a campfire than on a stage.
I tried to sell the stuffies I was sewing. The truth is that I hate sewing.
I started being good at making jewelry. It made me enthusiastic, but I wasn’t loving the objects I created.
I took photography contracts. I enjoyed doing that. I thought about pursuing this passion but I was too afraid to leave my career.
Then I rediscovered crochet and there was a spark.
I started designing immediately and there was a bigger spark.
I picked up knitting needles and as soon as I finished my first scarf, there was another spark.
In 2012, I started designing knitting patterns, wondering if that could be my dream job.
I remember telling my mom that it was.
I remember believing it, and I remember that my mom believed in me.
I kept coding but it was getting in the way of my knitting. I couldn’t find enough time for both. It made me frustrated because I wasn’t giving my designing career a real chance, and I wasn’t working enough. Most of the time, I was procrastinating instead of working on one or the other.
Then, I created babies.
My passion for them exceeds all the sparks I ever had in my life. I adore them. I want to be with them 24/7. We co-sleep, I breastfeed them for a long long time, I babywear until everyone tells me to stop hurting my body. Holding them is currently my absolutely favorite thing to do. I’m even writing this with my sleeping baby in my arms.
To have them made me want to go farther on my own path. They made me even more passionate about designing knitting patterns. I didn’t fear taking a leap of faith anymore. I have nothing to lose as long as they are with me.
So I said goodbye to most of my Web clients. I only kept my two favorites, who are so nice to work with and who do not take a lot of my time. We live simply and we don’t need anything. We don’t buy many things, but it’s still good to secure some income for food. And for yarn, obviously. I must admit that shopping on LoveCrafts is another of my passion.
So here I am.
I found my passion, and my dream job.
I keep my kids at home with me. I make my schedule work.
I think of new pattern ideas when I put them to bed. I work when they sleep. I knit when they play.
I’m happy. I found myself. And I create.
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